Opting Out?

It is that time of year again.

Walk into any shop this week and you will instantly be bombarded by advertising and displays all for Father’s Day. How is your inbox? I wonder if you, like me have been asked if you would like to opt out of Father’s Day emails?

I understand.

Days like these can be difficult.

Who doesn’t or wouldn’t want to hide away from any of the hard things in our lives. Pull a shutter down on the whole thing. Wait though, that’s not how life works is it? Much as we would like to, we do not really have the choice of opting out. No matter how much we try to hide, the day will still roll around, and it is not just Father’s Day either.

Now for me, it is not a day I want to opt out of. Although my dad died several years ago it can still be emotional and thought provoking, but that is okay. My dad was a good dad for me and my sisters. He was not perfect. He was firm but fair and he was wise. He could be funny and great fun to be with. I think he always wanted the best for each of us. He loved us no matter what we did and was always there for us. He was a man with a deep faith, deep into the marrow of his bones and Methodist through and through like a stick of rock. He shared that faith with us and I am grateful that he did as I am a woman of faith because of him.

Sadly, not everyone does have a father or a memory of a father who has been kind and loving or always there when he was needed. Fathers can be absent in mind even when present in body. Some are abusive, physically, mentally, and sexually. There are others who walk away before the birth or even after when the commitment is too much. Unfortunately there are also those who do not know how to be a father because they themselves have never been properly fathered.

Father’s Day may be an emotional roller coaster for you. You may not have experienced that picture perfect father we read of in the cards. Maybe your father has died and left you with a load of unresolved issues and feelings of guilt or anger. Perhaps for you being able to opt out of the whole day or any day that comes to mind seems like a very reasonable thing to do.

I hear you.

I have no explanations as to why your experience may have fallen so short, but I do know through the experience of many hard days, that opting out doesn’t change anything. Facing these days may be the only way ahead.

If you have been abused then please find professional help. It will not change what happened to you but it will allow you to be heard and understood. If your father has died and left you with hurt and pain or unanswered questions Bereavement Counselling is a positive step. Moreover, if Father’s Day is difficult for you then acknowledge it to yourself and maybe even to someone else close to you.

Be kind to you.

When I am in a hard place, I find the following Bible verses especially helpful. God has never abandoned me or let me down and I do not believe He will abandon you or let you down either.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (People let us down BUT Trust in God because He NEVER will.)

Psalm 30:11 (From despair to Joy.)

Psalm 56 (Try reading this in The Message version)

Psalm 68:5 (God IS our Father.)

Matthew 10:29 -1 (How valuable are we?)

Jeremiah 29:11 (God always has a plan for us.)

Morag, originally from Scotland, now lives in Cambridgeshire with her husband Gordon. They have 4 adult children and 5 grandchildren who keep them busy. She is part of C3 Church, Cambridge and actively involved in the 55+ group. You will usually find her sorting refreshments, chatting and laughing with others.

Her heart has always been for people, helping them find their God given potential with prayer ministry, mentoring or counselling. Morag’s father died suddenly in 2010 following an unsuccessful heart operation. She credits him for her faith foundations and a passionate love of all things family.